what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
