I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He told me they were just razor bumps!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
