I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
