Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.