I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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