I smell stomach acid.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
