Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
