A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
