..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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