Whod you bang
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
