Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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