ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
