Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
