It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
