hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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