I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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