He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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