i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize