i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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