you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize
