if i can run in heels then i can drive
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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