it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
