Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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