I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
