Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
