I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
