worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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