weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
