You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
