I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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