i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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