That's intense
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
