Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Randomize
