he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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