That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
only if we run a train.
done.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
