I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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