We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
