I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
