I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
