Can i not drive my cunt home
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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