Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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