Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
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I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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