This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
