His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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