yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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