she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
