She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
