That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
