Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
