the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
