I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
