the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
only if we run a train.
done.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
