I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize