i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Oh god it's open bar.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
