this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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