I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
