i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
