One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
