she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
