EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
