we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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