You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
