just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
